Monday, January 13, 2014

Monday Musings: The Best and the Worst of the Golden Globes

I have to be honest. I didn't actually watch any of the Golden Globes. We do not get that channel with our antenna. We cancelled our cable subscription, if you recall, last summer, so in moments like this I have to take to the internet to assess the fashion fabulosity and faux pas of the first awards show of the season. While I know that some dresses may look better "in action," I had to make my judgments based on still pictures, and I can't say that many of these looks took my breath away. In fact, it kind of blows my mind when beautiful women make strange and bizarre choices for these events, but I also kind of love it because who wants to look at perfectly put together people all night! Not this girl. Give me a hot mess any day.

Let's get to it. These are my top three picks for best looks of the night:

MARGOT ROBBIE: No idea who this gal is, but she looks stunning. (Apparently she was in The Wolf of Wall Street...)

EMMA ROBERTS: She comes from high class Hollywood stock (niece of Julia Roberts, which = nepotism), and she was not that good in We're The Millers, and I've read she is kind of insane, but she looks beautiful.

JULIANA MARGULIES: I am not sure that I even love this dress, but I find it so flattering on her, and just spot on for her body and her look. Truth be told, I am a sucker for a plunging neckline (unless there are big boobs involved--then it gets a little porntasic for my taste).

I also loved ROBIN WRIGHT, AMY ADAMS, MARIA MENOUNOS (a little I Dream of Genie, but I dig it), and SARAH PAULSON.

And these are the three women who probably should have stayed home:

JOANNA NEWSOM: Also had no idea who she was (professional harpist and Adam Sandberg's wife--thank you Wikipedia), but whoever she is, this is a fashion crime of epic proportions or a very touching homage to Gone With The Wind.

HEIDI KLUM: 1992 called and they want their choker back.

BERNICE BEJO: And, because someone had to give Joanna Newsom a run for her money in the "too much fabric department," Bernice decided to step up. 

The other contenders for this honor were: JULIA ROBERTS (It feels so wrong not to love her look, but I really did not.), HAYDEN PANETTIERE, and KALEY CUOCO (It is not even fun to pick on her dresses any more because they are just so predictably horrible. Someone fire this chick's stylist-stat.).

Just for fun, and because the pregnant ladies were out last night (woo-hoo, mammas), here is my ranking for pregnancy looks:


KERRY WASHINGTON'S Ranking: Getting warmer, but could have done with a little more bump flaunting.

OLIVIA WILDE'S Ranking: Full on smoke show. Now, ladies, that is how you rock a baby bump. 

Can't wait for all the awards shows to come so we can praise and pan in equal measure. Hope your week is off to a great start. 

(Images: Check out all the looks here, here, and here.)

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