Friday, April 12, 2013
It's the first Friday in a long time when I haven't been excited for it to be Friday. Usually I am chomping at the bit for Friday to come, but when Friday means the end of a vacation, it isn't so fabulous. This week was more of a whirlwind than a relaxing and rejuvenating vacay. Last weekend was truly wonderful, and then it was full steam ahead for the week that followed. Monday we were with my husband's parents, Tuesday we had to attend a fundraiser, Wednesday I was back in Manhattan for a conference, Thursday we met up with friends, and Friday, today, is the one day that I have nothing on the agenda except lunch with my grandma and dinner with my parents, aunt, and uncle in the evening. I wish we had had more days like this! That is the problem with living 3000 miles from almost ALL your friends and family members; coming home becomes an East Coast tour with the hopes of fitting everyone in.
To be completely honest, I sometimes get kind of mad at my husband when we come back to the CT/NY area. I get mad that I moved so far away for his career. I get mad that I can't see the people I love on a more regular basis and can't have the Sunday dinner and midweek coffee breaks that we used to. As I've said in the past, moving to California wasn't easy. In fact, it was one of the hardest things I've had to do in my adulthood, and I did it so that the person with whom I share my life could do the things that mattered most to him. But, I wasn't the best wife about it, and I didn't go along without fighting, tears, and general dismay at the situation. On the flip side, when I come back to where I've felt most at home, I realize that things are different and that people have moved on with their lives in a whole host of ways (which I reflected on here). That's hard. It's hard to feel like things changed, and you weren't and aren't a part of them, and that isn't J's fault. Moving away or making similar sacrifices is part of sharing your life with someone, and I am quite sure he would do the same for me if that is what my career depended on.
Bottom line: California has been a wonderful adventure, and it has done a lot of positive things for me and for us as a couple, but living somewhere beautiful and amazing is a lot less beautiful and amazing when you can't share it with the people who mean the most to you.
People say that it is imperative that adolescents separate from their families in order to forge independent identities, and I see why that is so. But, becoming an adult has made me realize that the people you love, be they your family or friends, are what make your life more than the work, the locale, the hot restaurants, the good shopping, and the scenic vistas ever could. Yes, San Francisco is an amazing place where I am lucky to get to live for a few years, but, as always, there is something about the East Coast that will always have my heart, will always be home, not because I am so enamored with that region of the world but because that's where my people are.
This is more of a musing than a fabulosity moment, but I was having an emotional moment yesterday, and I needed a little blogging therapy. Now, I plan to make the end of this trip the best part (back to NY on Saturday for a day with my brother and sister-in-law walking the High Line and eating at Co. I'll be snapping some pics, so look for those, a vanity, and a bedroom update next week! I will spend the rest of the day today being with the fabulous people who make me happy. Hope you can do something fabulous like that too.