Tuesday, March 12, 2013

After the Final Rose: Bachelor Recap

Catherine - Sean - Lindsey

Today I'm speaking for #bachelornation. Alright, it's official. Sean has chosen his lady... it was the hardest thing he ever had to do...he means it...harder than the last hardest thing he ever had to do...and the winner is...drum-roll....trumpets...roses...just trying to replicate the experience of watching the THREE hour finale of The Bachelor...oh yes...the winner... in the most emotional season ever...it's


Let's talk about tonight's cast of characters. You are getting a full recap:

The dark horse of tonight's episode? Jay, Sean's father. That man is a lady killer. Mothers, lock up your daughters. I was a little creeped out when Jay said that ever since Sean was a baby he had been praying for his future wife. But, when he told Catherine that if she married Sean he would love her like she was his daughter, Catherine wasn't the only one welling up. Weird moment forgiven.

Lindsey was really cute and sweet, but I can't take her baby voice. She is a good reminder to me if I ever have the urge to talk to my own hubs in a baby voice that it is not cute. Not even a little. Only babies and people speaking to babies should speak in the baby voice.

Then there's Neil Lane. He just happens to be stopping by Thailand. What a terrific traveling ring salesman. Too bad he's sold out and now does ads for Kay Jewelers. Come on, Neil. I thought you were better than that.

(At this point J. chimes in from his spot on the floor where he has suffered through this marathon, "What does one wear to a potential engagement/dumping?" Oh, he was paying attention after all.)

Now we are back in the studio with Chris and some of the rejected bachelorettes. AshLee is back. I had originally picked her for the winner, but she let her cray-cray hang out and it wasn't so pretty. I wonder if she will leave the wild world of professional organizing behind for the wild world of Hollywood. Something (perhaps her black leather cat woman suit) tells me she has her eye on that prize.

And then came THE LETTER...dun dun dun...cue ominous music. Will the letter break Sean's heart? Wait...It's nice and complimentary and read in an amazing voice over by Catherine and Sean? The Bachelor soars to new heights.

The actual proposal was probably one of the sweetest I've seen on the show. Catherine is so dang cute. I'd marry her! And her quote  ("I'm so addicted to you")? Adorable! She is so much cooler than Emily. Dodged a bullet there, Sean.

But wait! It's not over! Now there is another hour for After the Final Rose. So many reference to God and prayer I thought I accidentally sat on the remote and flipped to the evangelical channel. And who knew that Chris Harrison was an ordained minister? Golly.

In conclusion, I actually think these two might make it. Could I have been hypnotized by all the tears and roses and candles at the live viewing...maybe, but I believe! And this is when J. turns off the television declaring, "Enough crack for you."

Next season's bachelorette is...

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