Friday, November 9, 2012

Fabulous Friday

 I am S.A.D.

No, really. I know that this is Fabulous Friday, but I have to tell you about last night. I have (self-diagnosed) Social Anxiety Disorder. This is something that has haunted me since my young years. It became fairly pronounced in high school and then really extreme in college. I cannot tell you how many parties I sat out pretending I was on an "important call" (thanks, Mom). I have always been shy, and this became almost debilitating for a while there. But, I have spent the majority of my adult life trying to fight my tendency, trying to be outgoing, forcing myself to be the talker. And then last night happened.

Randomly, I got an invitation to go to an event at J.Crew. I thought the event was for anyone who had a J.Crew credit card. Now I am not so sure who was an included and how I got on the list because there was actually a list. Once I passed the woman checking people off said list, I knew I was in for it. The event was co-sponsored by Vogue. There were waiters serving hors d'oeuvres and cocktails (and offering unsolicited fashion advice). I also happened to be surrounded by many of the most attractive people I've ever seen in my life. For reals, yo. These women were sporting sequin leggings like nobody's business. I cinched the wool belt on my peacoat and forged on.

About fifteen minutes later I was experiencing a full on sweat because of which I had to escape to the dressing room, strip down to my underwear, see myself in the horrifying light and realize that cellulite and gravity are not my friends, pile back on the fisherman sweater, and make for the man with the cocktails. The only way to make this right was to drink...and spend money.

After I escaped from all the beautiful people, I met my brother, who promptly told me I was a crazy freak, for dinner. I was still sweating. How is this fabulous, you ask? It wasn't. But, what's fabulous is that I have a great brother, a great husband, a great family, and lots of great people who are happy to tell me I'm great. So I stopped sweating. Lady in sequin leggings who put me into full on meltdown mode be damned. But I still have more issues than Vogue.

Hope you're feeling fabulous today!

1 comment:

  1. Oddly enough, this post made me smile. Thanks for your honesty! I'm the same way about shindigs and strangers. It's overwhelming, and I can't be myself. I can be painfully shy, and I will do anything to avoid being invited to things. I always feel inferior about my outfit choices, makeup, imperfections, etc. I inevitably put my foot in my mouth EVERY time. As you mentioned, we can be grateful to be surrounded by people who lift us up. If only we could work on our own confidence. At some point, I hope this stuff gets easier:) It's nice to know that someone else feels the same way.