Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween

I hate Halloween. I always have. I had the strange experience of growing up in a neighborhood where Halloween was a big deal, mostly because we were the nicest street in a relatively terrible area. Because of our "best of the worst" status, we got a lot of trick-or-treaters at our house. But, perhaps I have to preempt this story with the fact that I was born terrified of animals (stuffed and real, which is why my new found appreciation for animal heads is slightly shocking) and all people in costume. This plagued me most of my childhood during which time roller skating parties complete with "character" appearances were all the rage. I distinctly remember my grandma taking me to Roller Magic and me insisting that she not leave until she had spoken to the roller skating Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and told him that skating anywhere near me was not acceptable. So, with that as a point of reference, you can see why, regardless of all the complications of the bad neighborhood, Halloween has always been, shall we say, fraught. 

Anyway, I never really wanted to go trick-or-treating, but after one particularly violent year when a child was beaten and his candy stolen, I was all for my mom's plan of vacating the neighborhood until the storm of vampires, witches, and teenagers with pillow cases passed us by. Off we would go, every year, to my great aunts' house in a very remote country town where we would eat polenta, buttered noodles, and donuts. I am not sure why that was the menu, but it was. All my cousins would come. We wore costumes. We did not trick-or-treat. We would drive home after it became clear that everyone would have migrated back to there own corners of the neighborhood.

It's funny that I'm not sure why we started going to my great aunts' house. I don't know if it was because my mom thought the neighborhood wasn't safe, but I've always remembered it that way. Perhaps it was I who thought the neighborhood was unsafe because I thought that it was highly likely that princesses and teddy bears could wreck all sorts of irreparable harm on just about anyone.

Halloween for me has always been a night of demons and terrors. Mine just happened to look like Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

When people ask me if I'm dressing up this year, I always chuckle. Not a chance.

1 comment:

  1. This is hilarious. The Ninja Turtle part was my favorite. :)