Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Watch and Learn


I have never been good at denying myself things. I just think that life is too short for delayed gratification. My poor mother has probably been trying to teach me this concept since I was a very small child. When I say that I am not good at denying myself things, that is not entirely true. I am okay at denying myself important things sometimes, but I am not good at denying myself trivial, superficial things. Yeah. Go figure.

Anyway, I bought a watch maybe eight years ago, and I have loved it everyday since. But, the battery died a while back, and it has been replaced a few times. The face is a bit scratched, and, long story short, I decided that I needed (aka wanted) a new watch. A gold watch. Everyone has them. Blair Eadie has one. Therefore, I must have one too.

I wanted it for Christmas last year, but, J. and I decided not to give each other gifts in an attempt at fiscal responsibility. And I have consistently told myself not to spend that money many times since (though I have probably spent it in different iterations, but not all at one time, not all in one transaction). Get to the point. Yes, I know. I recently got a little extra money, a double pay month, and I decided that I was going to buy the watch. Why not? (I can actually think of quite a few reasons why not, but no need to elucidate those here and now.) And I did. I went into Marc Jacobs because I had decided that was the watch I wanted, and I purchased it. (I know this is not the watch-of-a-lifetime kind of purchase, but nonetheless, it was more than $100!) It didn't fit quite right, but I was sticking to it, goddammit.

When I walked out of the store with the watch on my wrist I expected to feel elated, like a baller who can just walk into an overpriced store and buy a snazzy, gold watch. I have wanted this watch for so long. I have posted various versions of this watch on the blog and my Pinterest. And now I owned it. But what did I feel? I felt terrible! I felt like I should never have spent the money, like that money could have bought me some peace-of-mind, and I wasted it on a watch. I felt foolish and irresponsible. No trip to Spain? Guilt over a watch? Is this what they call growing up?

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