Monday, April 30, 2012

Monday Musings

This weekend was awesomely beautiful and included an afternoon in the park and a terrific hike. So most of my musings were about the natural beauty of the state of California, hence the picture. I thought that the woman looked like she might be me, musing about the beauty of the ocean.

Other musings are on the topic of letting go:

There is an old list recirculating right now (probably because most of my friends are around this age) about things that you are supposed to have done, owned, or accomplished by the time you're thirty. I have accomplished a lot of things on that list (although I do not own my own personal set of tools OR a black lace bra...where did that thing get to?), but certainly not all. And there are some that I definitely haven't accomplished, and they make me wonder if I missed out something. (Number 6: A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.) My well-behaved youth is going to make for some pretty tepid imagination fodder in my older years. (Number 1: One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.) I have no old boyfriends rattling around in my closet that I might consider going back to. Actually just no old boyfriends. Had one, liked him, married him, case closed.

But, what does resonate on that list is that some of what is supposed to make this phase of life great is that you start letting go of things; childhood is over, whether you liked it or not (liked mine although I was a decisively strange child--I guess the good part was that I was not really aware of this fact until I was older), your parents are who they are (mine are great, so thanks for that Mom and Dad), and your body is the way it is. As far as the last one is concerned, I am decades away from making that kind of peace; peace in the middle east and me making peace with my body might be happening at approximately the same rate. I love the idea that 30 means letting go of old hangups, old preoccupations, old neuroses, and embracing a more self-assured phase of life...but, can all that really happen in the next 10 months? Here's hoping.

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